In her book “Women, Food and God,” Geneen Roth talks about
the relationship with food being the doorway to a relationship with myself.
This really resonates with me and my journey.
Teenage years: Overweight and feeling ashamed about it. At the same time, really intrigued by the ideas of healthy living, yoga and working out and healthy eating. This was my struggle for most of my adult life.
2004-2007: I was able to regain probably about 75% of my health. The biggest help was eating real food – lots of veggies and healthy protein, and avoiding processed foods and sugar. Trouble was, I couldn’t do that for long. For years, I was in and out of a particular program that stressed 3 meals including 5 cups of veggies per day, and no sugar or flour. And that really worked for me… until it didn’t. I just couldn’t stay away from the sugar and junk food. And my food sensitivities got worse and worse – I’d get debilitating headaches from eating dairy or wheat, and soy, sugar and processed foods caused other, less severe reactions.
2014: Finally – I decided it was time to do something about it. Over the years, despite my unhelpful habits, my interest in healthy living and eating had continued.
Finally something in me snapped – ENOUGH! Enough knowing that certain foods would give me those headaches and eating them anyway. Enough of feeling badly about myself for how I ate. Enough of the fatigue, the hypoglycemia causing insomnia, the brain fog interfering with my work and life, just… enough.
In hindsight, I think what happened was that I really decided I’d had enough of doing battle with myself. Enough standing in my own way. Enough of the struggle. It was time to get on my own side, my own team. Be my own best friend and help and support myself.
My first step was to eliminate sugar, committing to it for one year. A week or a month wasn’t long enough. Deep down, I knew that it needed to be forever, but that seemed overwhelming. I could do one year though, I’d done it a couple of times before. Once the sugar got out of my system, everything else got much easier. I started adding in more fruits and vegetables. I learned about the effects of stress and food sensitivities on the body, and how to counter them. I began learning about what my body does and doesn’t like, knowing that those things can change. And I started slowly healing.
I learned about the supreme importance of digestive health. When I started applying the principles of gut healing, I really started to see some results.
I don’t wanna lie – healing is an ongoing journey. Sometimes I still struggle with wanting to eat foods that don’t serve me or with eating emotionally, but most of the time, I work through those struggles, and if I do give in, I don’t beat myself up for it. My energy is sometimes through the roof and sometimes not. I have occasional bouts with insomnia, but nothing like it used to be and I know what to do to change it.
But the greatest improvement I see is in my relationship with food, my weight and my body. I look at food in terms of whether or not it serves me and avoid using the words good and bad. I enjoy eating, and I don’t condemn myself for eating something that doesn’t serve me. I no longer have the uncontrollable cravings, followed by the binges, followed by the remorse for what I ate and the despair and hopelessness about my eating and by extension, about my whole self.
My body is healthy from all of the good things I feed it, and getting healthier every day. It’s getting stronger – the more energy I have, the more I want to work out and the better I feel. My body can do things a lot of bodies can’t – it can breathe without a machine, it has two healthy legs that can go hiking or for a walk through the neighborhood, and it has two healthy arms to hug the people I love. My mind can think, and it knows how much I have to be grateful for.
If any of this resonates with you, be sure to check out the rest of the site. Feel free to email me at email@example.com for more information or to schedule a time to talk about what you need and how I might help you. I look forward to hearing from you!
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